Category Archives: Change in our Society

Sacred Choices

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The other day I was at my regular grocery store when the cashier lady whom I had been seeing over the past year asked me if I was a stay at home mom with a tone that was a bit degrading.Society is so harsh sometimes, if you stay at home to raise your child the assumption is that you are literally staying at home and doing nothing and that life is so easy for you. If you are a mother that has a job, the guilt treatment is the main resort from most people who will comment on how early you left your child to be cared for by someone else. I have experienced both worlds and here is what I have learned along the way.

I have learned that there should be no such thing as a working mom or a stay at home mom and I quite can’t understand the need to be labeled as this or that. We are all mothers regardless of our career and personal choices, we all love our children, worry about them and want what’s in their best interest and I am writing this post because I truly believe that something needs to be changed on how we treat new mothers specifically and mothers in general.

The most difficult thing that I experienced as a mother with a full time job was not missing my baby girl, it was having to deal with comments about how  early I went back to work and how I am missing out on the most important moments of my life and and and etc. Another difficult thing that I went through and I am still going through as a mom other than maintaining my sanity is dealing with the pressure of the need to go back to work and the comments about how I need to start doing something useful in my life and that I should be careful not to get stuck in the mommy world or else my career is doomed.

I have learned that as a new mother you are so fragile and overwhelmed that you really do not know how to react to the judgments from others and one of the most hurtful comments that I dealt with were ironically from other mothers. Two years later I began asking my self  why I spent so much time worrying about Justifying my family’s choices and seeking the approval of others just to be recognized as a good mother. At the time I was so overwhelmed as a new mom that I didn’t know any better, I look back now and realize that this was a very difficult experience that has taught me so much about understanding my self.

I have learned that the moment you give birth to your child you become an advocate, an advocate that fights from all her heart to do what is best for her family but along the way we forget ourselves, at least I know I did. I forgot that it is not acceptable to be labeled, I forgot that it is not normal to have to justify  your choices especially to people you barley see. I forgot that I can and should stand up for my self when I am criticized for my choices.

I have learned that the best advocate for mothers are mothers themselves and that real change happens when we fight for what is ours, our right to make our own choices without being judged. If every mother spoke about this with her friends with her colleagues at work, with her parents and in-laws we would be setting the path for more compassion and understanding.

I have learned that there is a pressing need for us as mothers to speak up as to what is acceptable and what is not and to not live in the shadow of being too busy or too tired if  we want to see things changing for us.

For all the mothers, the heroes, the invisible advocates and any woman who has fought with all her heart and soul to support and empower herself and other mothers and the sacred choices they make, this post is for you.

Happy Mothers Day,

Esraa

A New Chapter in My Life

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I recently began producing and presenting a TV show called “Evening” which discusses Women’s Rights issues on AL Etejah News Channel. This blog is what inspired the show and it has truly made me believe that every single individual can inspire change whether its through a blog post, an article, a speech or even the way we treat those who work in our household. I look forward to your feedback and ideas for the show are always welcome.

This episode is dedicated to all the men and women who leave their countries and loved ones in search of a better a life. To the mothers who stay away from their own children for years in order to raise children that are not theirs , to the hardworking men and women who work 14 hours a day for salaries that are below minimum wage, to all of the domestic workers that have been abused both physically and emotionally, I dedicate this episode in hope that it will shed light on this serious issue.

Esraa

Doorbell Labels

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3698c5709a05f7a875a8a10ec0768852While visiting a friend in Beirut for the first time I struggled to find her name on the 26 doorbells that were on the entrance of the building. ” Dr., Engineer, Sales Executive and most importantly the Manager” where the titles of most of the residents in the building. I had a second look at the building to make sure I wasn’t at some 15 story skyscraper and believe me it wasn’t, it was just a normal building in a normal neighborhood. Eventually I found my friends place but I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ” labels” that I saw that day and I asked my self why was it so important to label the simplest things with what we do or what we have achieved. This phenomena of ” Doorbell Labeling” was not a one time thing and the more people I visited the more I realized that this was a common practice.

In that same month I met the Chief of Staff of a prestigious hospital in the United Sates, when we first met he introduced himself as “Dave” not Dr. Dave or “Chief of Staff” Dave, simply Dave and I am pretty sure that his doorbell does not have ” Chief of Staff Dave”. His modesty made me wonder about all those labels I had seen and made me question the actions of our society.

If I was living in a building with managers and doctors it is only normal that I too would like to prove my presence and put a label over my doorbell, but why should I be forced to feel that in the first place?  Sometimes we feel pressured to present ourselves in a certain way but the truth is we shouldn’t.

Changes in our society and in our attitude towards one another begin with and are affected by the smallest things such as simply introducing ourselves as who we really are not by what we do.

What do you think?

Esraa